Bullying is worse these days, due to social media. We have alas always had school and office bullies, but today children and adults can’t even leave the issue, when they go home. Media bullying has led some hair salons to refuse to stock gossip magazines, since the suicide of TV presenter Caroline Flack. She may have been a bit messed up, but people who knew her said she was very kind.
There’s a general kind of nastiness about all those programs (Big Brother, I’m a Celebrity, Come Dine with Me, Four in a Bed). All of them seem to delight in being nasty in underhand ways, when actually if you’ve ever travelled to Europe, their version of Come Dine With Me is very nice, with no gossiping or bitchiness at all.
The best way to prevent bullying is to not be around bullies. Easier said than done. Alas kind empaths often fall prey to narcissists (who seem to be able to hone in on empaths) to make them feel like everything they do is their fault (gaslighting).
So if you go around being nice and others tell you you’re not, it’s likely you’re being gaslighted. So no, it’s not your fault. And the results of bullying can last a lifetime, leading to self-sabotage of your dreams. It’s important to prevent further bullying and make peace with the past, so you can move on.
And if that means dropping a few friends (even from childhood) so be it, if staying around them makes you feel bad about yourself. Or at least just drift away, to find better friends.
One man who was bullied in school as a boy had terrible times, and had to leave. Years later, he decided to seek out the bully for a radio show. He found him – and discovered that the other boy had felt so bad, he had been tracking him on social media for years, to ensure he was okay! They did not become friends, but it was kind of healing.
All studies show that school bullying is cured, when the teachers agree that it can be. Just saying ‘all bullying happens’ is not good enough. Children can phone National Bullying Helpline. If you are being bullied at work, call ACAS.
ReThink is a wonderful app, created by an Indian teenager, who was upset on hearing that a teen in the US had died, due to alleged bullying. It basically ‘reads messages’ before children send them. So if a child reads ‘I hope you die’, the app quickly retorts something like ‘Are you sure you really want to send that, it could do terrible things’. Then most children don’t send it.
How Lizzie Took On the Bullies!
Lizzie Velásquez grew up in a Mexican Catholic family, her faith very important to her, as she battled bullying, due to being born with a rare congenital disease that left her blind in one eye and prevents her gaining weight. One day she was surfing online and found people calling her ‘the ugliest girl in the world’.
So you know what she did? She gave an inspirational TED talk (very funny too, saying she never has to worry about diets!) and gained the love of the world. She now writes books on kindness and has even had a film made about her. Way to go, Lizzie!
A Search for the Meaning of ‘Beautiful’
How Beautiful is a beautifully illustrated book about a curious caterpillar’s search for the meaning of the word ‘beautiful’. Is there just one meaning – or many? A caterpillar lives a simple life on his leaf until one day, an UnKnown Thing picks him up and calls him ‘beautiful’. A question forms in his mind ‘What is beautiful?’
So begins a quest to discover the true meaning of the word. Much to the caterpillar’s surprise, each animal in the forest has their own unique definition:
- A bear declares that honeycomb is beautiful
- The squirrel saves leaves are beautiful
- A mole says his burrow is beautiful
What’s a caterpillar to do? The message is that beauty is as diverse as we are, and means something different to everyone. But the beauty of the natural world is worth celebrating.
Antonella Capetti is a beloved picture book author and primary school teacher in Italy. Illustrator Melissa Castrillón studied children’s book illustration at Cambridge School of Art.
