In any relationship, honest communication stands as a pillar of strength to foster trust. Sometimes in modern life, people ‘over-share’. But for any relationship (friendship, romantic, work or political) honesty is the best policy.
Obviously sometimes it’s necessary to tell a little fib to avoid hurting someone’s feelings, but for the most part, being honest helps create bonds built on understanding, laying a foundation for a stable and resilient connection. Even if someone is shy, being honest is the only way to ground a relationship on trust.
Building Trust and Stability
Can you imagine a relationship without trust? Honesty creates a secure environment where thoughts and feelings can be shared without fear. When we know we can rely on someone to be truthful, it builds confidence and a sense of safety.
This security allows both individuals to express themselves freely, knowing they won’t be judged or dismissed.
Have you ever felt closer to someone after a deep, honest conversation? That’s the magic of honest communication – it deepens emotional connections.
By sharing authentic thoughts and feelings, people reveal their true selves, paving the way for greater understanding and empathy. This strengthens the bond, creating a closeness that endures challenges.
Disagreements are inevitable, but honest communication can transform conflicts into opportunities for growth. By addressing issues openly, misunderstandings get clarified, reducing chances of lingering resentment.
Honesty helps in viewing problems from each other’s perspectives, leading to constructive solutions rather than heated arguments.
Barriers to Honest Communication
Fear is a powerful deterrent. Many people shy away from honesty, worried about potential negative consequences. Whether it’s fear of upsetting someone or being judged, this apprehension can stifle genuine expression. It’s essential to address these fears to pave the way for openness.
Societal expectations often dictate what can or cannot be said. Cultural norms might emphasise saving face or avoiding confrontation, leading individuals to withhold the truth. Challenging these norms requires courage and a commitment to foster truthful exchanges despite external pressures.
Honest communication is a skill that not everyone possesses. Without the right tools, conveying one’s thoughts clearly can become difficult. This deficiency can lead to misunderstandings, misinterpretations, and ultimately, a breakdown in communication.
Strategies to Foster Honest Communication
Listening is just as important as speaking. By paying full attention to what someone else is saying, you create an atmosphere of understanding and respect.
Active listening involves acknowledging the speaker, asking clarifying questions, and providing feedback. This practice encourages honesty by making others feel heard and valued.
People are more likely to open up when they feel safe. To foster honest communication, strive to create an environment where everyone feels free to express themselves. This involves being non-judgemental and supportive, showing empathy, and maintaining confidentiality when required.
Opening up about one’s feelings and thoughts can be daunting. Encourage honesty by being open yourself. Share personal stories, admit faults, and express vulnerabilities. This sets an example and invites others to be equally candid, strengthening mutual trust and understanding.
Long-Term Benefits of Honest Communication
Relationships that are nurtured with honesty tend to be more resilient. The strength of these bonds lies in their foundation of trust and mutual respect. Such relationships endure hardships with greater ease, standing strong against the tides of time.
A relationship based on honesty leads to greater satisfaction. Knowing that you can be your true self without fear of judgment fosters a sense of belonging and contentment. This authenticity brings happiness, creating a fulfilling and rewarding connection.
In conclusion, honest communication is the bedrock of strong relationships. By understanding its significance and actively working to overcome barriers, we can foster deeper, more meaningful connections. As you continue in your relationships, remember the value of truthfulness, and let it guide you to lasting bonds and enriched experiences.
Never lie to someone who trusts you. Never trust someone who lies to you. Anon
Never lie to the people you care about. Even if the truth might hurt them. Lying ruins trust. Anon
The Modern Phenomenon of Ghosting
England is about community and talking over problems, usually with a boiled kettle and a cup of tea. Being shy is one thing, but the modern phenomenon of ‘ghosting’ has only recently become a ‘thing’. In days of old when people lived in close-knit communities, you would not have been able to ghost someone, as everyone would likely have ghosted you in return, for being so immature and selfish.
Ghosting is the modern way of simply refusing to acknowledge someone, without giving any reason. Often it’s due to emotional immaturity, not giving the other person the respect of any reason for cutting someone off as if they are dead.
The answer (as any psychologist will tell you) is simply to move on. If someone has no concern for your feelings or mental health, simply don’t bother wasting time with them, and find good true friends who respect you, and are deserving of your friendship.
However, modern life is not so easy. You may have to live or work alongside people who ghost you, or live in an area where you have shared contacts.
Ghosting can crash someone’s self-esteem and self-worth, but of course as long as you know you are a good kind person, that is all that matters. Being ghosted is never about you, it is always about the other person. If they won’t get help, that’s on them.
You have too much to do in this life to get on with, than worry about someone who treats you that badly. There is never an excuse to be ghosted, so quit waiting for one, and just move on. You don’t need ‘closure’, you can move on without it.
What to Do If You’ve Been Ghosted?
If you’ve been ghosted by someone who is abusive or a stalker, it’s likely good to be ghosted, as you don’t have to be concerned with ever talking to or seeing that person again. You can still bless and forgive, but you also need to look forward. In the Bible, Lot’s wife (who is never named) looked back, and turned into a pillar of salt. Don’t let the same happen to you.
Authentic love means caring without trying to control. You deserve a relationship where you are seen, heard, understood and accepted for who you really are. Vex King
Don’t use emotional crutches to deal with the after-effects of being ghosted. Up your self-care routine instead. Pray, meditate, go for a walk, pull out those gym shoes, switch to alcohol-free beer and make a salad.
Most importantly, find a few good kind new friends who treat you well, rather than go over the reasons why you were not treated well beforehand. Nobody’s a tree. You can change and bend with the wind, and make a new life for yourself. If you need professional help, then find a counsellor to talk things through confidentially.
What’s important is to set up personal boundaries in future. Highly-sensitive people often attract people who manipulate and control them, so learn your life lessons, and be friendly but with a fence!
You can still be kind and giving but give up the ‘people-pleasing’, giving up your self-worth in order to make others happy.
Not only will this help you, but it will gently teach people who ghost others a gentle lesson, that such behaviour is never acceptable, due to the confusion and hurt it causes.
People who ghost would never like to be on the receiving end of such treatment, so why do they think it’s acceptable to do that to you?
Love yourself enough to set boundaries. Your time and energy are precious. You get to choose how you use it. You teach people how to treat you, by deciding what you will and won’t accept. Anna Taylor
If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete. Jack Kornfield
What To Do If You’ve Ghosted Someone?
All psychologists say to go ‘no contact’ with people who ghost others, so unless you have a very good excuse, you’re better off moving on too. It would be nice to perhaps write, text or email an apology, but likely you won’t if you’re the kind of person who ghosts others.
So again do the same as the person you ghosted: bless and forgive them for any hard feelings, and move on with your life, learning from your mistakes.
Any wish to ‘come back’ from ghosting will be an uphill climb, unless you are willing to talk of your reasons (and the other person is willing to listen). Trust will have been broken.
If you think trying to restore that trust in a friendship is worth it, then try. But if not, then it’s a kinder option likely for both of you to go separate ways, and hope that you will never repeat such behaviour to another person again.
