Had your heart broken? We’ve all been there. Whether you believe in the notion of a ‘soul mate’ or whether you simply think that there are many soul mates out there, having someone dump you (or realising that the person you trusted is not who you thought they were) can be wrenching. Of course, someone may die that can also cause a broken heart – see how to help someone deal with grief, and how to cope when pets die.
How quick it takes to heal from a broken heart, often depends on the kind of person you are. A highly sensitive person who is very emotional, is likely going to take more time. But that’s okay, oranges are not the only fruit.
- Don’t be angry. If someone has been unfaithful or dishonest, this is the obvious one. Not eventually forgiving can lead to festering emotions, that could destroy you. There was once a woman in the media whose husband left her for another woman. We all sympthatised. But years later, she was still writing on how he betrayed her, and this can lead many to lack sympathy. Eventually it’s time to move on. Why hang on to someone who treated you bad?
- Find new friends. You don’t have to get rid of joint friends, but finding some new friends for your ‘single life’ is a good idea, ensuring they are people who are in line with your values. Don’t join a club of bitter ex-wives! But take up hobbies that resonate with your new life. This can help you to put you in a better place, where you are not spending time ruminating on what has happened in recent weeks or months.
- Self-care. Get a new haircut, change habits to a healthier lifestyle, to make you feel and look better about yourself. This is especially important say if someone has been dumped for a much younger woman or man. Feel good about yourself, before you get out on the dating scene again.
- Don’t even think of ‘revenge’. This keeps you focused on your old life. Just move on. If you find new love and have no further contact with whoever hurt you, you don’t have to let them know.
- Let yourself grieve. Don’t stuff up your emotions and not cry or get counselling etc, this is really unhealthy and can make healing a lot harder and longer to deal with.
- Take up meditation. This is good to avoid you going over and over what happened. Many people (in all areas of life) just torture their minds by reliving the same scenarios in their head over and over, until it drives them batty. The blog Always Well Within has lovely posts on learning to live in the moment, to find inner peace.
