Living a purposeful life starts with understanding what matters most to you. Not what others in your personal or business life (nor in media, politics or religion) tell you. Your values are like a compass that guide your choices, actions, and relationships. Without them, life can feel aimless or out of sync. By defining your values, you can focus on what’s truly important and build a meaningful life.
Personal values are the principles and beliefs that shape your behaviour and decisions. They reflect who you are and what you stand for. For some, honesty and kindness may top the list. For others, values like independence, growth, or family are more significant. Some people are passionate about animal welfare, others about leaving the world a better place. Others are passionate about how art and music can better the lives of vulnerable people.
Values aren’t just abstract ideas. They influence how you approach relationships, work, and challenges. For example, if honesty is a strong value for you, you likely make trust a top commitment in your personal and professional life. If you are not a materialistic person, you likely don’t want to be around people, who put money above everything else.
The Role of Values in Decision Making
Every choice we make is filtered through our values, whether we realise it or not. They act as a framework for deciding what to do in both big and small moments.
When your values are clear, it becomes much clearer to make decisions. Imagine being offered a high-paying job that conflicts with your value of work-life balance. Recognising this conflict can help you make a choice that suits your priorities. If you value trust, it becomes easy to leave a relationship, if that trust has been betrayed.
On the other hand, ignoring your values can lead to frustration, regret, or even burnout. Staying true to your values ensures your actions align with who you are.
Identifying Your Core Values
If you’re not sure what your core values are, don’t worry. They’re already part of you. You just need to bring them into focus.
Start by taking time to reflect. Think of moments when you felt connected with the universe. What were you doing? Who were you with? Why did it matter?
Meditation or prayer can help. Spend time in silence, asking yourself questions like, ‘What do I stand for?’ or ‘What makes me come alive?’ Pay attention to the emotions and thoughts that surface.
List values that resonate with you – words like freedom, creativity, or community. Narrow the list down to five or six that feel central to who you are.
Molly Rider took a 21-day TV detox, after a 30-hour in-bed binge-watch. She took a few days to get used to no TV, and immediately began to replace the TV-watching with ‘things that fed her soul’. She also took time to address her own dramas (instead of watching others on TV) and went out to meet and catch up with real friends, instead of watching friends arguing on TV.
Aligning Actions with Your Values
Once you’ve identified your values, use them to shape your goals. For example, if learning is a key value, set a goal to read a certain number of books or take a course. If connection is a priority, aim to spend more quality time with loved ones.
Daily habits are powerful tools for living by your values. If health is important to you, build routines like exercising regularly or preparing nutritious meals. If you value creativity, carve out time for hobbies or projects that challenge your imagination. These create Over time, they become second nature, making it easier to live in alignment with your purpose.
While core values often remain steady, some may shift as you grow or face new experiences. What mattered most to you at 18 may not feel as relevant at 40.
Be open to change. It’s okay for values to evolve—they’re a reflection of your journey. The key is to stay intentional and aware as these shifts happen.
Creating a Happier, More Intentional Life
Little Shifts for a Big Life is a book by a life coach and yoga teacher, who is also a successful entrepreneur, who says you need to take time to pause and listen in, before making big decisions. These short essays are both inspiring and spiritual, to dip into when you like. You have a choice in who you are (no matter what your circumstances) and this book will show you how to progress. Love and forgiveness are choices that we need to make for a big shift, to make the world a better place, starting with ourselves.
Unconditional Self-Love
- Embrace the shaky power of courage
- Lead yourself first by listening
- Explore your self (instead of improving yourself)
- Trust the wisdom in your physical body
- Your feelings are showing, so start there
- Let vulnerability lead
- Find out why everyone is right
- Be the best version of you
- Celebrate your awesome problems
- Don’t take yourself personally
- Let commitment free you from doubt
- Break the rules you’ve made
- Expand what it means to be okay
- Lean in fiercely
You’ve Already Won
- Be grateful for your design
- Take responsibility for possibility
- Make your conservations constructive
- Respond instead of reacting
- Pause, listen and choose a useful perspective
- What could go Right?
- Realise you have everything you need
- Practice faith in the future
- Only empower what you want
- Receive your limitless resources
- Create more of what you desire
- Find joy in discomfort
Stay in Your Flow
- Create boundaries with flow
- Free yourself from the drama cycle
- Believe you can so you can
- Let your imagination light the way
- Practice this small thing to move forward
- Focus on your purpose, and nothing else
- Own your feminine leadership
Choice is Your Superpower
- Develop a rule-breaking practice
- Your choices and what they create
- Choose what you receive
- Choose to believe in peace
- Allow choices in others
- Take your 1,440 opportunities
- Break free from pressure
- Change yourself to change your life
- Find freedom in change
- Choose the change you seek
- Be supported by the Power of Enough
You Are Your Own Fulfilment Centre
- Contribute like a pro
- Vibrate to create
- Tell helpful stories
- Make it easy to change the world
- Expand beyond right or wrong
- Be immune to discouragement
- Look for support ahead, not behind
- Generate generosity
- Discover your power, through staying
- Own your strength, through gentleness
- Try out the Upgraded Golden Rule
At 22 years old, I was a high school dropout suffering from disordered eating, hiding in overdrinking and emotionally and spiritually crumbling under the crippling weight of all-consuming shame and blame. In my school years, I wanted to be an astronaut, a hostess and the first female president – and I knew that I could.
But at 22, all I could see was the heartbreak that the world would ultimately inflict on all of us. Thankfully a coworker who I admired gave me a life-changing invitation to join her for something she thought could help me as much as it had helped her. And I showed up to my first real yoga class.
