Losing a pet can be a deeply emotional experience. Pets are part of our families, offering unconditional love and companionship. When they pass away, the void they leave behind can be overwhelming. Understanding how to process these feelings is crucial to healing. This guide aims to help you honour your pet’s memory while navigating the grieving process.
Blue Cross offers a free service where you can call, email or chat with a trained pet bereavement counsellor.
Understanding the Grief Process
Grieving a pet can feel much like losing a human loved one. It’s important to remember that your feelings are valid. The stages of grief—denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance—can all come into play. These stages don’t always happen in order, and they can manifest differently for everyone.
When a pet dies, you might experience a whirlwind of emotions. Sadness is often the primary feeling, a profound sense of loss that lingers. Anger can surface, too. You might feel cheated by the short life span of your beloved pet. Guilt is another common emotion, questioning if you did everything you could to ensure their well-being. Loneliness can be especially crippling if your pet was your confidant.
Grief isn’t just emotional—it’s physical too. You may notice sleep disturbances, where rest becomes elusive or interrupted. Fatigue can settle in, making daily tasks daunting. Physical tension, headaches, and even changes in appetite might crop up.
Healthy Ways to Process Grief
Creating a memorial can be a soothing way to remember your pet. Consider crafting a photo album filled with memories or marking a spot in the garden with a special plaque. These memorials serve as tangible reminders of the good times shared.
America’s Paw Pods is a company that began when the founder had his beloved dog cremated, and was sent the ashes in a plastic bag. These biodegradable pods are for all shapes and sizes, and all species for an eco-friendly sendoff.
Avoid sending plantable memorial cards with pets, as many flowers (including lilies are toxic. Also know memorial trees to avoid near horses (yew, oak, sycamore). Instead, consider donating to Trees for Life, which rewilds the Highlands. You can’t ‘name your tree’ but it does more good.
Talking is therapeutic. Share your feelings with friends, family, or support groups who understand what you’re going through. Expressing these emotions keeps them from festering inside.
Writing can be incredibly cathartic. Keep a journal to capture your thoughts and memories. It’s not only a way to vent but also a method to celebrate your pet’s life and how they impacted yours.
Consider Adopting Again
Adopting a new pet is a personal decision. When the time feels right, a new companion can bring joy back into your life. Remember, this isn’t about replacing your beloved friend, but about opening your heart to new experiences.
Keeping the Memory Alive
Honour your pet’s memory in ways that feel significant to you. Establish annual remembrance days or create special rituals. Light a candle on their birthday or plant a tree in their honour. These acts keep their spirit with you.
A Book on Handling the Death of Beloved Pets
Broken Heart, Shared Heart, Healing Heart is a unique book on handling the death of a beloved pet. Where do you turn, especially in a world where many people don’t really care. This book is different, in that it’s by the creator of a groundbreaking chaplaincy program in the largest animal hospital in the southern hemisphere. So it comes loaded with compassion and faith. It also covers faith-based help like prayers and burial services.
Acknowledging the deep pain that pet loss causes, the book offers gentle guidance on how to navigate this difficult time, and is grounded in practical advice, and offers real help for broken hearts. The book also explores religious traditions and long-held teachings (Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist) to draw comforting and reassuring answers on the afterlife of animals and if you’ll meet them again. A blend of spiritual and emotional care you need at this time.
Barbara Allen helped develop Australia’s first animal chaplaincy program at Lort Smith Animal Hospital and is passionate about animals and stewardship of all creation. She serves as an ordained minister and a volunteer grief support person that unites animals and children. Also read Grieving the Death of a Pet.
