Boundaries are very important. Because if you are a kind sensitive soul, often others will find it okay to trample all over them. Boundaries are needed for people who tend to say ‘yes’ when they mean ‘no’. There are only a small percentage of HSPs (highly sensitive peeps) in the world. And if you’re one of them, you likely assume everyone else is too. Not so!
Stop asking why they keep doing it. And why you keep allowing it. Chase Hill
Boundaries is not just about saying no. If you’re a kind person, likely you say sometimes to be kind (when it’s the right thing to do) when everyone else is saying no. But there are times in our lives when it is really needed to set boundaries, to prevent energy vampires ruining our lives.
Examples are:
- Abusive relationships (physical or emotional)
- Bullies (friends, bosses)
- Loud people who invade our space
- People who shout their opinions at us
- Those who don’t respect our lifestyles
- People who shout their religions at us
- People we simply need to take time out from!
Most therapists will say ‘be kind but honest’. It would be nice if life were like that. But often people who abuse our boundaries are not listeners anyway, so you won’t be heard. The easiest solution is to try to gently move away from such people. Either by forming new relationships, leaving jobs etc. They likely will never change. So it’s time to protect your energy space.
Jen Smith writes that we are treated, by how we allow others to treat us. The reason it’s good usually to move on, is because if that person has abused your boundaries in the past, unless you get all assertive and say ‘I’ve completely changed’, they will likely not hear.
It’s best therefore to find new friends and learn from experience. Set boundaries the next time around, so you don’t get sucked into emotional abusive friendships or relationships with people you trusted. Like it or not, the sad truth is that some people you trust – are not to be trusted.
Sometimes in life we across people who make us wish that we had boundaries to begin with. You know the ones. We allow them to put us down, because we don’t want to be confrontational. They take from us without giving back, and make us feel used.
If you don’t have boundaries, make them. Put your foot down, put your fences up. Let people know that you do have boundaries. It is worth it, to be surrounded by people who support you. Dominee, Self-Love Rainbow
