You Are Enough (how to avoid being gaslighted)
There are a lot of good men out there, and this is not a ‘feminist rant’ post. But at time of writing, the Epstein scandal is blowing up in the face of the powerful men of the world, and could well bring down governments and monarchies, it’s that shocking.
But just like the modern culture of dishonesty and deceit has created a society where the top jobs go to people who focus on power, money and sleaze, so the modern scandals are being caused, by even so-called ‘decent’ people not hearing (or not wanting to).
But this also trickles down to our modern life. Everyone is sickened by the Epstein scandal, but it’s been six years since the interview with Prince Andrew, and only one person (guilty and she should have been convicted) went to prison. What’s happened to all the others?
At time of writing, it looks like Sir Keir Starmer won’t be able to hang on to being Prime Minister for much longer, even with a massive majority. Due to many u-turns, and made worse by one simple fact:
As a likely decent man, he just does not ‘get it’ that ‘believing Peter’s lies’ is not the issue. It’s because he decided to bring a sleazy man with bad morals into government, to appease someone of a similar moral value the other side of the pond.
He knew – and instead of just finding someone else, he continued to vet him. But he can’t apologise for that.
And not being able to apologise, takes us into the realms of NPD (a personality disorder where you gaslight the victims).
The ‘victims’ (who would prefer to be called ‘survivors’) don’t care that Peter lied to Keir – they want to know what on earth he was being considered for the job in the first place, given his background. But it was obvious – money and power over the rights of young girls, some as young as 12.
Even the suicide of the majestically heroic Virginie Giuffre has not ended up with governments, the police or the monarchy bringing Andrew to account – he’s off to live in luxury in a home that most of us could only dream of, with paid staff at his every whim and call.
Without even being politely told, that this is on the condition that he fly to the US and give evidence, to try to get some kind of closure for girls who have (many now mothers of young girls) suffered for decades.
Gaslighting is Gaslighting (in real life)
Gaslighting is also prevalent in our society. As mentioned above, most men are good and kind. But it’s now become acceptable in society due to events like the Epstein scandal and Andrew Tate to:
- Ghost someone, if you ‘don’t feel like talking’ about having done something wrong or upset someone.
- Cheat on women, and not even offer explanations or give heed to heartbreak causes (in the media, they are more likely to sell their story to the highest bidder).
- Manipulate someone into feeling they have done something wrong (usually the very thing that the other person has done).
All of these can mess with the mental health of recipients (and of course it also happens the other way around, with women behaving like that with men, or for gay couples).
But if we want a kind society, we need to start with ourselves. Look deeply and consider what your daily actions have on others:
- If you ghost someone, then either explain or apologise, or move out of their lives forever.
- If you have lied, then go back and tell the truth, to restore trust.
- If you have broken someone’s heart, then say a prayer for them, move on and promise that you won’t behave that way to someone else ever again.
The process of gaslighting may only last a few minutes or hours for the person doing it. But for the people on the receiving end (especially sensitive empaths), the effects can last forever.
And be devastating. People who have been lied to, ghosted (or perhaps someone you loved went off with someone younger, prettier, slimmer or nicer – or even worse, not as nice!)
So if you have ever been gaslighted, know that you are enough. Here is a nice poem, to make you feel invincible!
Poetry Break: You Are Enough by Brahma Kumaris
You are not the noise of the world,
But the quiet strength it cannot steal.
Nor the wounds you hide in shadows,
But the light that dares to heal.Every flaw you see in the mirror,
Is a story of battles you have won.
Like the cracks in a weathered stone,
You are shaped by what you have overcome.You are not a fleeting moment,
But the rhythm of an eternal song.
Not a question waiting for answers,
But the truth that’s been there all along.So, stand tall in the storm’s embrace,
Let your roots sink deep in the soil.
You are enough – just as you are –
A masterpiece in your own turmoil.
