Good Reasons to Ignore ‘Online Validation’
We can’t escape the mass media and Internet these days, unless we lived the dream of owning a little house in a forest, and never seeing anyone!
But although the media and online world has its uses, one area where it comes unstuck, is to create a whole world of people, who now view their worth by what others say about them. This is why in most cases, it’s a really really good idea to just give up social media.
But unfortunately it appears the beast has been unleashed. It’s rare now to find a teenager who does not spend all his or her spare time scrolling social media, to learn what celebrities are up to. On a serious note, it is leading to self-harm, mental health issues and even bullying and suicide.
And it’s not just teenagers. Many adults do the same, spending more time gazing into their phones, than looking up at the people opposite them. And often not reading the news, but comparing their lives to others (houses on Pinterest, models on Instagram etc).
People have been killed by not looking behind them (say a cliff) to take selfies, others have attempted to take their lives if posting a photo where they have been called ugly. And websites and blogs are plagued by bots that ‘like’ endless posts from fake account. It’s all gone completely mad.
Online Validation is Draining
People who have given up social media, always report how much better they feel. No platform is good for your mental health. And in most cases, won’t help your business either. Just drop them all.
If you write something good and feel proud of it, all your hard work can be drained, if someone online then writes a nasty comment or view. It’s far better to just ignore the naysayers. Write or take photographs from your heart, and know that you’re doing good.
Actress Olivia Colman does not use any social media. Apparently there is someone who uses her name on one account. But rather than get upset about it and try to shut it down, she says because she avoids social media, she just doesn’t worry about it!
The Trap of Endless Comparison
Denmark and Finland are two of the world’s happiest nations. And it’s interesting that both have no celebrity culture. David Beckham or Brad Pitt could go on the tube in either country, and not be bothered by anyone. Could you imagine that happening in England?
In Scandinavia, there are no ‘influencers’ to tell you what to wear or how to shop. They don’t bore you, by telling you what they had for lunch. There are no endless comparisons with who is the most beautiful, slimmest or youngest. Finns and Danes are happy and confidence, who eat well, sleep well and live healthy outdoor lifestyles.
Wealth is good if it helps you build a better life. But nothing more. In Denmark apparently you can have a boat. But if you brag about your boat, it’s frowned on!
Italian film-maker Elena Rossini says that endless comparison is what is driving so many women (and men) to depression. Even beautiful Asian women are bleaching their skin, to try to look like Americans. She says that a 50-year old woman who is happy in her own skin is not ‘worth anything’ to the big beauty companies. As you can’t sell anything to her!
True Success Comes from Within
Wins in life come from living your truth, not from ‘likes’ from other people.
To free yourself, to be more authentic, to be less addicted, manipulated and paranoid. We cannot have a society, in which if two people communicate, the only way that can happen is if it’s financed by a third party. Jaron Lanier (from 10 reasons to delete your social media)
The developers of apps and games and social media sites are trapping us in repeated actions which feed our brain’s desire for reward. Every point you score, every candy you crush, every retweet you get – gives your brain a dopamine hit that keeps you coming back for more.
You’re not having a bit of harmless fun; you are an addict. A tech corporation has taken your solitude and monetised it. It’s not the game that is being played – it’s you. Paul Kingsnorth
