Good Reasons to Ignore ‘Online Validation’
The Internet has its uses, to share good information and keep in touch. But one area where it comes unstuck, is creating a whole world of people, who now view their own worth by what others say. A very good reason to give up everything from social media to comparison sites (people who view Pinterest to spend time looking at perfect houses, end up not appreciating their own).
There are seriously now cases of people risking their lives to take selfies, with beautiful backdrops. Some people have felt suicidal when posting a photo that others have called ‘ugly’. And websites and blogs are plagued by bots who ‘like’ endless posts from fake accounts. It’s all complete madness.
Online Validation is Draining
People who have given up social media, always report how much better they feel. No platform is good for your mental health, and unlikely in most cases to help your business either, so it’s just not worth it.
Someone may write or paint something beautiful. Just one nasty comment or social media post, can send that person spiralling. It’s far better to just ignore it all.
Actress Olivia Colman does not use any social media. But apparently there are ‘Olivia Colmans’ on social media, pretending to be her. But she does not spend her time seeking them out, she just avoids going on social media, so she doesn’t have to stress out about them!
The Trap of Endless Comparison
Denmark and Finland are two of the world’s happiest nations. And it’s interesting that both have no celebrity culture. David Beckham or Brad Pitt could go on the tube in either country, and not be bothered by anyone.
There is therefore no comparison. No influencers to tell you what to wear or how to shop. No endless comparisons with who is the most beautiful, slimmest or youngest. Finns and Danes are simply happy and confident. They eat well, sleep well, exercise naturally and live their lives.
Wealth is good if it helps you build a better life. But nothing more. In Denmark apparently you can have a boat. But if you brag about your boat, it’s frowned on. Compare that with England.
Italian film-maker Elena Rossini says that endless comparison is what is driving so many women (and men) to depression. Even beautiful Asian women are bleaching their skin, to try to look like Americans. She says that a 50-year old woman who is happy in her own skin is not ‘worth anything’ to the big beauty companies. As you can’t sell anything to her.
True Success Comes from Within
Ignore online validation, and just be true to who you are, and build a base for your business online. You can build self-confidence by doing good, without social media. Wins come from focus, not from ‘likes’ or ‘claps’.
People trust consistency. Honesty and quality work. Results, not reactions.
Chasing trends for approval can flatten your voice. You copy what works for others and forget what lights you up. It feels safe, but is actually non-productive and very dull.
Time is a budget. Spend more on life, less on the like button.
To free yourself, to be more authentic, to be less addicted, manipulated and paranoid. We cannot have a society, in which if two people communicate, the only way that can happen is if it’s financed by a third party. Jaron Lanier (from 10 reasons to delete your social media)
The developers of apps and games and social media sites are trapping us in ludic loops. These are short repeated actions which feed our brain’s desire for reward. Every point you score, every candy you crush, every retweet you get – gives your brain a dopamine hit that keeps you coming back for more. You’re not having a bit of harmless fun; you are an addict. A tech corporation has taken your solitude and monetised it. It’s not the game that is being played – it’s you. Paul Kingsnorth
