Stop following the crowd (discover what matters to you)
In modern society we are surrounding by messages telling us how we should look, what we should think, who we should support, where we should live, and what kind of life we should live. These messages are from the media, politics, advertising and even social media.
Staying true to your values in today’s world takes courage.
We are told which career we should choose, whether we should work harder or slow down. And even if we should accept help when we need it. Even if sick, elderly or disabled.
We are told we should eat certain foods to be ‘mainstream’ in society. Be more outgoing (if shy), follow certain celebrities and do certain kinds of exercise. Or rest more. It’s all exhausting!
We are encouraged to look a certain way, drive certain cars, watch certain shows, and fit into society’s idea of success. We are even expected to ignore things that upset us (such as animal suffering or environmental damage), because ‘caring too much’ is inconvenient or uncomfortable for others.
But what happens if you choose a different path?
Finding your own inner voice
The best way to find inner peace is to listen to your own intuition. The challenge is that modern life is noisy. There are so many opinions, distractions, and expectations that it can be difficult to hear your own thoughts.
This is why many people go on retreats, to escape noise and find clarity. But even retreats can come with their own pressures. Where others may encourage you to adopt their own beliefs or way of living.
It’s often easier to just take some quiet time alone. This could be gentle walk by the sea (listening to the waves. Or a walk through a forest, listening to the rustle of leaves in the trees.
Give yourself some time alone, and remember what you loved doing, before the pressures of adult life or organised religion or politics or 24-hour media or other people took hold. Ask yourself:
- What matters most to me?
- What do I truly believe?
- What inspires me?
- What subjects to I choose at the library?
- What music and art bring me joy?
Explore what feels right for you
Everyone finds meaning in different ways. Some people follow a religion, some follow spiritual paths, and others do not follow any particular belief system.
If you are curious, explore different communities and experiences. You might visit different places of worship, attend a Quaker meeting, join a book club, try yoga, or go for a wild swim.
The important thing is to discover what genuinely connects with you.
Imagine a world that feels perfect to you. What would it look like?
Maybe it would be towns designed for walking instead of cars. A world where animals are treated with kindness. Communities where neighbours support each other. Gardens where people can sit among flowers, trees, and wildlife.
When the noise in your mind becomes quieter, the real you appears.
Perhaps you discover that happiness means a stack of second-hand novels and a cup of herbal tea. Perhaps it means restoring an old house into a cosy cottage. Perhaps it means walking through ancient woodland and seeing trees providing shelter for countless creatures.
There is no single right way to live.
Living a life that matches your beliefs
Many people feel lost because they are following expectations created by others rather than living according to their own values. It’s easy (especially as an empath) to become overwhelmed by messages telling you what you should buy, want and achieve.
We live in quite a bullying society these days. If you don’t conform, you may be almost threatened that your life choices are wrong. For instance, someone who lives a simple spiritual Eastern wisdom life, could be told by an ‘expert on You Tube’ that this is wrong, and you then even get scared by organised religions.
You may not agree with endless economic growth, but ‘experts’ tell you to conform to their way of thinking, otherwise you’re a ‘whackjob’, even though you know this is destroying the planet.
Find your values and stick to them. If you keep watering down a cup of tea, eventually it tastes of nothing. The same can happen when we compromise our beliefs>values too often
Let compassion guide your choices
Animal welfare campaigner Sarah Taylor is an example of someone who based her choices on compassion. She struggled with conflicting messages about food and health. But once she made decisions based on kindness towards animals, outside opinions became less powerful.
The same approach can be applied to any area of life.
Remain true to your values. If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything. Frank Sonnenberg
Reward for conformity: everyone likes you, but yourself. Rita Mae Brown
If you don’t stick to your values when they’re being tested, they’re not values. They’re hobbies. Jon Stewart
