Help and Support for Companion Animal Grief

grieving the death of a pet

For those of us who adore animals, losing companion animals creates the same grief as losing humans. But society is not so sympathetic at times, which is why you may need specialist help.

Grieving the Death of a Pet is a book by a nurse and pet loss counsellor, who treats pet grief with the seriousness and gentleness it deserves.

Broken Heart, Shared Heart, Healing Heart is a book by the creator of an animal chaplaincy program. This compassionate book includes faith-based help and explores religious beliefs on animal afterlife.

Guilt Usually Accompanies Grief

Because animals can’t talk in human words, we often have to make guesses (as do vets sometimes), and  this can lead to misdiagnosis and guilt, if things don’t go to plan. Putting animals to sleep is also a difficult decision, that you may question whether you got right at the time.

And in a world of super-expensive vet fees, some people who have given animals a loving forever home, literally can’t afford the bills, if they don’t qualify for free vet care. Read more on finding affordable vet care.

Remember that animals offer unconditional love. And even though you may not be able to forgive yourself for any mistakes you made, it’s certain that your animal friends will have forgiven you.

We would all want home euthanasia as  the best choice, but death is not always easy and pretty. RSPCA has good info on signs an animal is dying, and how to make the end for your best friend as peaceful as possible. Blue Cross has information on (including horse euthanasia).

Those who work in animal hospices and offer home euthanasia, say that in nearly all cases, it’s fine  for other animal companions to be present at the time of death (most know already that their friends are not well, ignoring dead bodies is normal behaviour).

Pet grief experts suggest that leaving pet beds around for a couple of months can not only help you and fellow pets to process grief, but may create a ‘softer  transition’ for animal friends who have departed too (remember, they will also be in shock at being separated from you).

If you are struggling to cope, talk to:

Remembering Pets Through Memorials

Trees for Life is a nice charity that lets you plant a tree on behalf of any loved one, to rewild the Scottish highlands (this provides food and shelter for birds and wildlife).

If burying pets in gardens, use biodegradable urns. Learn of pet-friendly gardens (some flowers and trees are not safe near animal friends, also learn of trees to avoid near horses). 

You could alternatively donate your pet’s body to vet education memorial programme. This enables scientists to find cures for disease without using live animals, to support humane medical research. Pets then have their ashes scattered at Dignity Pet Crematorium.

Vetlife charity offers free confidential help for vets and nurses who are struggling with mental health issues (due to putting animals to sleep or witnessing animal abuse). 70% of vets have lost colleagues to suicide, four times the national average.

Remember That You’ll Meet Again

There is more than enough Biblical wisdom (and also in eastern religions) that animals too have souls, so be assured you will meet again, this is a notion that can bring real peace.

A man and his dog die, and at the pearly gates, an angel says the man come come to Heaven, but dogs are not allowed. The man carries on walking with his dog. At another gate, another angel admits both him and his dog.

The man says ‘But that angel said that dogs were not not allowed in Heaven’. The angel replies ‘That was not an angel, that was the devil. He only lets people in, who are willing to leave their dogs behind’.

A Poem on the Loss of a Companion Animal

This is an anonymous poem found on the website of pet loss grief counsellor Beth Bigley, who wrote the book Honouring Our Animals. May it bring you comfort:

I stood by your bed last night, I came to have a peep.
I could see that you were crying…you found it hard to sleep.
I whined to you softly as you brushed away a tear.
“It’s me, I haven’t left you…I’m well, I’m fine, I’m here.”
I was close to you at breakfast, I watched you pour the tea.
You were thinking of the many times, your hands reached down to me.
I was with you at the shops today, your arms were getting sore.
I longed to take your parcels, I wish I could do more.
I was with you at my grave today, you tend it with such care.
I want to reassure you that I am not lying there.
I walked with you toward the house, as you fumbled for your key,
I gently put my paw on you. I smiled and said, “It’s me.”
You looked so very tired, and sank into a chair.
I tried so hard to let you know that I was standing there.
It’s possible for me to be so near you every day.
To say to you with certainty, “I never went away.”
You sat there very quietly, then smiled, I think you knew…
In the stillness of that evening, I was very close to you.
The day is over…I smile and watch you yawning
And say, “Goodnight, God bless, I’ll see you in the morning.”
And when the time is right for you to cross the brief divide,
I’ll rush across to greet you and we will stand, side-by-side.
I have so many things to show you, there is so much for you to see. Be patient, live your journey out…then come home to be with me.
– Author Unknown

Similar Posts