Move On From Emotionally Immature People

Heather Stillufsen

Many people are emotionally immature. This does not mean they are bad people, but they are very difficult to deal with. Say you have an argument with someone, and yet they will sulk and sulk like a toddler, until they get their own way.

They may have hurt you and said so many terrible things to and about you, that you could no longer peek out to say hello, without their permission. Perhaps they have friends or partners around them who you would be scared to upset, if that emotionally immature person has said things about you (like gossips in school).

People who are emotionally immature tend to lack the empathy to realise just the kind of hurt they are causing (like digging a dagger into people’s hearts, yet to them it’s all some kind of game).

Be kind and compassionate to one another. Forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4:32

Do to others, as you would have them do to you. Luke 6:31

Examples of Emotionally Immature People

Ghosting (cutting off without an explanation)
Gossiping (telling lies about you to others)
Telling fibs (instead of acknowledging the truth)
Making up other partners, to cause hurt.
Blaming others (instead of acknowledging responsibility)

Perhaps that person wants you to reach out to them and feels rejected. Not having the emotional maturity to realise that this would be impossible without that person’s permission, due to words he or she has said before, and to others. Why would that person go through all that hurt and rejection again, by trying to reconcile once more?

If a friend does respond to a request to mend a friendship (or offer truth on what has happened in the past), then respect that and move on. It’s best for both the mental health of the person on the receiving end, and also for the person giving it out.

If the emotionally immature person feels that the other person has to be the one to come back, then he or she needs to understand that this has been made impossible, through previous actions. And it’s up to them to reach out their hand in friendship, and the other person would never face all that rejection again.

Don’t Bear Grudges (that’s what toddlers do)

Holding onto grudges is so bad, that one person once said its ‘like drinking poison, and expecting the other person to die’.

If you are an emotionally immature person who has hurt others, don’t bear grudges, don’t sit there and fester, and don’t create even more hurt. You will drive the person further and further away.

If you want to make any kind of reconciliation, accept that your behaviour has caused immense hurt, be a man (or woman) and take responsibility for your actions, and make good on repairing them. In other words, grow up.