Grieving the Death of a Father, Mother or Friend

Sometimes when you are grieving, it can take longer to recover than other people, who just tell you to ‘move on’. These books are to give hope and healing, to people who are feeling emotionally at sea from the death of someone they love. Also read about grieving the death of companion animals.

Grieving the Death of a Father is a book that looks at unique ways to cope, when losing someone close to us. After the physical loss of a father, there are slower processes to go through, as a natural response in a world where (most) people have their fathers live a long time.

But if you’ve lost a father at a younger age than most, you likely have to live through sadness, guilt, memories and the reality of growing up with the man who likely protected you from harm.

Make no mistake about it. The death of a father causes a very significant wound. Some of us tend the wound, some of us ignore it.

But the wound is not that our father died and by his death our world is forever changed. No, the world is that the world around us acknowledged the death for one very brief moment, then skipped merrily on its way.

The author (a former funeral director) and a member of the Association for Death Education and Counselling also wrote the accompanying book Grieving the Death of a Mother.

Losing a mother early in life is a difficult transition, as no matter what the status of the relationship (good or not), this is likely the first person you turn to, when going through difficult times.

And if she is no longer there, you may find it harder to cope than most, when needing a sympathetic ear to listen. Of course if you have lost both parents early in life, the hardship emotional pain is doubled.

Losing a mother deprives you of a chief cheerleader. A friend once told me ‘I lost the one person who would love me, no matter what happened in my life. I always knew my mother would be there for me’.

Many grievers are left burdened with unfinished business, apologies that were never verbalised, unexpressed appreciations and unspoken affections.

My friend Carl captured the feelings of many when he said ‘I still needed her. I wasn’t finished growing up yet’. Some mothers serves as the glue that held a fragile family together. Make no mistake. The death of a mother can be one of life’s toughest experiences.

Although I am 54 years old, I am not all ‘grown up’. Just once more I would like to hear ‘Oh, I am so glad you called. I was just thinking about you. Did you have something good to eat today?’