Self-care is not the same as ‘self-love’ which can turn into thinking that you’re more important than anyone else. Self-care simply means taking care of yourself, to support your own health and happiness. This enables you far better to take care of others.
Many selfless people believe that taking care of themselves is wrong. So they end up burning themselves out, never saying ‘no’, not setting boundaries and end up in a terrible state. But of course, to take care of others, you first have to take care of yourself.
People often confuse the two. Self-care is not selfish – but likely spending all day in front of the mirror chanting ‘I love myself’ is. While narcissism is self-centred, self-care is about balance. If you say a carer, you have to take care of yourself, otherwise you’ll end up too exhausted to help others, and become ill yourself.
Physical Self-Care
This means simply taking care of your body. If you say are a very stressed person and cope by eating junk food, worrying, smoking and drinking alcohol, you’ll feel worse. Routine is key here. Just focus on a short bout of daily exercise, a walk in nature, and regular healthy meals that you enjoy. A warm bath and a bit of yoga before bed.
Done regularly, you’ll soon feel much better, get back to normal weight, and sleep deeper. This routine ‘won’t get rid of your problems and worries’, but you will be better able to cope. It’s common sense that ‘drinking your problems away’ won’t help. Consistency (not perfection) is key.
Emotional Self-Care
Taking care of your feelings is very important. Many sensitive people don’t cope well with the stresses of modern life, and often there are not very sensitive people around you to understand. So again, find ways that work for you. A daily swim, a gentle yoga routine, even a regular counsellor or meditation class.
Social Self-Care
It’s really important to have a few friends. Animals are always good, but it’s also good to find a few human friends that get you. So if you are quiet and artistic, think of joining a local art class, don’t go to the local nightclub!
If you have a drinking problem, don’t make the local pub your venue of choice. Take yourself off to a mindfulness meditation class, or evening class to learn something new, rather than boozing your nights away with others who spend their lives doing the same. Set boundaries with negative people, because protecting your energy is the best form of self-care.
Self-Care Means Being True to Your Values
People who practice self-compassion know their values, and don’t live lives by media. A good example of this was animal welfare campaigner Sarah Taylor. She sadly died a few years ago from aggressive brain cancer. But she wrote wonderful simple books on how to go vegan in 30 days.
And her take was that if you tried and failed (like her) in the beginning, it was because you were listening to the media. But if (like her when she succeeded), you go vegan due to compassion for animals, no amount of marketing can take you back. You can apply this philosophy to any area of life.
