A Book to Live Authentically (stop comparing yourself)
I Decided to Live as Me is a gem of a book! An accidental public library find, this apparently has sold over one million copies, and quite right too! It’s an English translation of a book first published in South Korea, and contains short dip-in chapters and cute illustrations, by a woman who was fed up of her life going nowhere, because she was always worried about what others thought!
Many of us are nice and kind, and that’s good. But something this can be taken advantage of, and we can end up living our lives through other people, often because we are concerned at not being liked. This is a book about gently and compassionately, living your own truth. And not following any ‘life plan’ of other people, simply because it suits them. Because it very well may not suit the plan you have for your own life!
The chapters are only one or two pages, so a great easy bedtime read. Gems like:
Don’t be kind to those who aren’t kind to you.
This doesn’t mean to be unkind. But it does mean to stop falling over yourself to ‘make people like you’, if they treat you bad. Just move on and find some good friends who respect and treat you well.
Don’t try too hard to get along with everyone.
So-called ‘people-pleasers’ often do this, trying to fit in with everyone, and end up diluting their own beliefs so much. But as the saying says ‘ if you add enough water to your cup of tea, eventually it will taste of nothing’.
The author interestingly is also not a fan of people being alone. Although many of us would say we were ‘happy hermits’, she delves into history and says that years ago, people needed food (and each other) to survive. And it’s kind of the same now.
That’s not to say don’t have friends. But try to find a few good friends who value you enough to turn up, be there for you, tell the truth and trust each other. If people don’t treat you well, 100% get out of there and stay on your own if you have to. But then do make the effort to find some good friends to replace them.
What you need when you’re lonely, isn’t the power to withstand loneliness. But a true companion.
Remember what your parents told you. If someone lies to you (or lies to someone else to be with you), it’s likely that person has lied before. And likely they will lie to you in the future. So just seek out truthful people, even if they are ‘boring.’ You’ll be happier!
Other little chapters of wisdom in the book include:
- Don’t get hurt by those who are just passing through your life.
- Be perfectly content with being ordinary.
- Have a strong sense of self-worth (listen to this free podcast by mindfulness teacher Melli O’Brien).
- Don’t follow some BS script for life
- Do not be ashamed of things you have no reason to be ashamed for
- Don’t try so hard to be understood by everyone
Overall, this is likely one of the best little reads out there, to have a better life. It’s low-key, funny and cute. But contains more wisdom than all the so-called ‘self-help guru’ books on the market.
This is a book for anyone who feels as though they’ve been wallowing in sorrow enough, or for anyone who needs a soft push to get going again. If you’re looking for a light-reading turnaround, you can’t find much better. You’ll come away refreshed, empowered and clear-minded. Northern Nevada Business Weekly.
The problems discussed are universal concerns in the age of information and social media. One wonders if this book should be essential reading for government policymakers! Translator Anton Hur has done an excellent job in maintaining the spirit of the writing, which made the original Korean version a bestseller. Arlo Matisz, The Korea Times
We live in a highly anxious world. And I can personally attest that this book has helped me in dealing with stress, social anxiety and existential dread. It is comforting, invigorating and liberating, all at the same time. Anton Hur (he translated the book!)
About the author
Kim Suhyun is a writer and illustrator based in Seoul, Korea. She studied design at college and describes herself as ‘thoughtful but not too serious, and light-hearted but not too shallow!) Her books have sold over 2 million copies in Korea, and this book has now been published worldwide, in a dozen languages.
