Identifying depression can be tricky. Symptoms vary, and people might not express what they’re feeling. Emotional symptoms are often the most visible indicators of depression. A person might experience persistent sadness, irritability, or feelings of hopelessness. It can feel as though a dark cloud looms overhead, blocking out the sunlight of happiness.
You may notice them withdrawing from friends or family, losing interest in activities they once loved, or expressing feelings of worthlessness. These signs can be subtle but understanding them is crucial for providing support.
Depression doesn’t only affect emotions; it can also lead to physical symptoms. People may feel constant fatigue, struggle with sleep, or experience changes in their appetite. A once-energetic person may now seem drained, tired, or restless.
Where to Find Help for Depression
Making Peace with Depression and Making Peace with Anxiety are two warm comforting books with super reviews, to help anyone who struggles with their mental health. The books have bite-sized tips ideal for overwhelm, and look at how our bodies respond to stress and worry, with tips to help calm you down or lift you up. Be kind to yourself and be your own best friend, in times of stress.
‘Fine’ is not a feeling.
Samaritans and SHOUT are two organisations that can offer instant help if you urgently need someone to talk to, and you don’t have to be suicidal to call either organisation. The latter is not so well-known but runs an excellent service, where over 2000 trained volunteers offer a confidential free text messaging service, for anyone who is struggling to cope. Papyrus offers support for young people.
Free Help Online from Trained Listeners
An interesting service is 7 Cups, founded by a psychologist who wanted to help more people. Named after a Zen phrase, it offers paid online counsellors but also trains ‘caring listeners’ who can chat (just like a counsellor would for £40 an hour).
The caveat is that they are not qualified counsellors but they do receive training and there are safety guards in place. If you’re feeling depressed and there’s no-one to listen, this may be worth a try.
Free NHS Mental Health Counselling
NHS talking therapies are free on the NHS with referral from a GP. You can also refer yourself if you prefer or have an unhelpful GP who prefers to always dole out drugs (you do however need to be registered with a GP to access cognitive behavioural therapy, counselling and guided self-help to treat common issues like anxiety, depression, social anxiety, phobias, post-traumatic stress, irritable bowel syndrome and body dysmorphia).
Affordable Counselling Network offers online counselling at £25 per session with concessionary rates, run by a Community Interest Company (all profits are reinvested). Each session is 50 minutes for as long as you like.
You can talk by phone or online and all therapists are fully insured members of the British Association of Counsellors and Psychotherapists (BACP) or The UK Council for Psychotherapy (UKCP), with enhanced DBS and a strict code of ethics.
Happiful is a 90-page ad-free magazine full of uplifting stories, to support good mental health. The two sisters who founded it also founded Counselling Directory, where you can enter your postcode to find the best phone or in-personal councillor.
They both experienced mental health issues while at school and university, and know how it feels to be overwhelmed, so used their experiences to help others quickly find one of over 22,000 listed trusted therapists. The sisters run a similar site to find qualified hypnotherapists.
Lessons From a Therapist (to help you heal)
Real Talk is a ‘therapist in a book’ with lessons that you would learn in therapy to cover trauma, love, trust, boundaries, family and self-esteem. Our past shows up in mysterious ways – unhealthy patterns and unmet emotional needs, or the people we continue to attract into our lives. And this relates to how we relate to others in the world. Until we can unpack our roots and history, we will be haunted by it.
As a trained psychologist, I meet a lot of people who were once children with big feelings. But now they are grownups with big feelings and adult-size emotional wounds. These wounds show up as perfectionism, self-sabotage, people-pleasing, and problems with love and relationships. Each of these wounds comes from something in the past, that never had the chance to heal.
She writes that her book won’t always make you feel better, as you are going to have to ‘go there’ to examine the feelings and past, in order to heal, just like with a real therapist. And that’s because ‘there is no healing without feeling’.
Magazines to Foster Good Mental Health
People are giving up buying expensive ad-filled magazines to switch to one or two quality publications of evergreen content to read again, or gift to others. High printing costs means many magazines are switching to online (paywall) content.
The Countryman almost reached its 100th birthday (before folding due to rising costs) and one major publisher (which prints People’s Friend) recently closed six titles, due to falling subscriptions.
Women in particular are giving up buying ad-filled magazines that make them feel bad about themselves. Many hair salons stopped selling ‘gossip magazines’ after the suicide of TV presenter Caroline Flack. Pop unwanted magazines in the recycling bin (not the compost bin, due to printing inks).
Breathe is a beautifully illustrated magazine, focused on mindfulness to calm an active brain. From learning yoga to spending time in nature to balancing your chakras, its ‘little sister’ magazine Teen Breathe is focused on helping the younger generation (aged 8 to 14). .
Happiful is a 90-page ad-free magazine full of uplifting stories, to support good mental health. Enjoyed by over 140,000 readers, the magazine was founded by two sisters, and is carbon-neutral. Choose a monthly or yearly subscription, which you cancel any time. You can also order single-issue back copies, while stocks last.
The two sisters also founded Counselling Directory, where you can enter your postcode to find the best phone or in-personal councillor. They both experienced mental health issues while at school and university, and know how it feels to be overwhelmed, so used their experiences to help others quickly find one of over 22,000 listed trusted therapists. The sisters run a similar site to find qualified hypnotherapists.
This suite of magazines and websites is run by a team of 40 in Surrey. All designed to remove the stigma of mental health issues, the magazine (also available digitally) is sold nationwide in shops or subscribe to the free e-magazine.
Most of the magazine is made up of authentic true stories and Happiful Hacks. Example articles are:
- What to do when drinking leads to overthinking
- What to do if you’re treated like an unofficial therapist
- Why you should go beyond your comfort zone
- Homework strategies for children with ADHD
- The introvert’s guide to public speaking
- 100 ways to relax (there’s something for everyone)
NHS can also offer counselling but usually there is a long waiting list for ‘proper counselling’ where someone sits and listens, and mostly you’ll be referred to cognitive behavioural therapy which is good for phobias, but others are not so sure about how it helps anxiety and especially depression.
If you’re grieving, asking how you feel on a score of 1 to 10 is not going to help – better to just get free bereavement counselling from trained volunteers at Cruse (or Blue Cross for pet bereavements).
CBT (cognitive behaviour therapy) is the ‘therapy of choice’ now for the NHS. There’s nothing wrong with CBT per se (it’s about changing unhelpful methods of behaviour) but critics say that for deep-seated emotional issues, it’s too structured and sometimes people simply need a listening ear. It’s obviously used because it’s cheaper to run an online course, than employ trained therapists for one-to-one ‘listening sessions’ long-term.
Professor Ronald Purser (who says the ‘mindfulness craze’ has been hijacked by companies and governments who wish to use it to avoid responsibility to change society) says the problem with CBT is that often it says it is the recipient’s responsibility to mend their minds.
When in fact, often it is due to external factors. For instance, if someone is living in a damp bedsit struggling to feed a child and is feeling depressed, mindfulness is not the cure – a society that offers safe healthy homes and decent benefits for those in need, is likely to make that parent feel a lot better, than therapy.
How Walking Helped One Man’s Depression
A Walk From the Wild Edge is the story of Jake, who had forgotten how to feel alive. So with just a pair of boots and a backpack, he walked 3000 miles across the country, along coastal paths, over mountains and through every national park. His journey led him to recover from depression, rediscover the local landscape and learn of the extraordinary kindness of strangers and his place in the world.
Three Dads (walking for their daughters)
3 Dads Walking is a site run by three fathers, who sadly only learned the truth of how common suicide was among young people, when their own daughters took their lives.
They have since walked to raise money for the suicide prevention charity PAPYRUS (funds have enabled it to extend its helping to a 24/7 service and now has plans for 18 more offices in the pipeline).