Been Ghosted? How to Move On from the Hurt
Ghosting happens when someone suddenly stops all contact without explanation. It’s more common as texting and social apps make it easier to disappear without facing a conversation. This silence can leave you feeling confused, hurt, and stuck.
If you’ve been ghosted by someone who is abusive or a stalker, then you don’t have to be concerned. In the Bible, Lot’s wife (who is never named) looked back, and turned into a pillar of salt.
Ghosting is usually due to fear of having difficult conversations, so it’s easier to just disappear off the radar, usually due to emotional immaturity and self-centredness (and a lack of empathy for others). .
Remember that ghosting reflects someone else’s values, not your worth. Avoid self-blame and focus on self-care and moving on.
What to Do if You Have Ghosted Someone
The first step is being honest with yourself. Why did you choose to stop responding? If you were avoiding difficult conversations, is it worth making contact before that person moves on forever? If you ghosted them, it’s unlikely they are ever going to initiate contact themselves, for fear or rejection and more hurt.
Also look inside your heart, to realise the effect your behaviour has on that person. When you disappear, you take away their chance to understand what’s going on. Ignoring their feelings can feel like disrespect, even when that’s not your intention.
If you feel like reaching out to clear the air, a brief note works best at first such as ‘I’m sorry for disappearing, I should have communicated better’. This shows that you respect the other person and care about how your actions affected them.
If you can’t do that, at least learn the lessons of how your behaviour affected others, to not do the same to someone else in the future. Treat ghosting someone else, as a chance to grow in emotional maturity. If you need help, find a counsellor to talk things through confidentially.
