Why Self-Care Is Not the Same as Narcissism
We are always hearing these days about ‘self-love’. This can stray into becoming obsessed with yourself, but there are good benefits to self-care, which is an entirely different thing.
Whereas self-love can risk becoming a bit of a diva, self-care is about supporting your own health and happiness, so you can take care of others, and do good for the world. Self-love can risk people thinking they are more important than others (you’re not, we’ve all the same worth in the eyes of God).
Many selfless people believe that taking care of themselves is wrong. So they end up burning themselves out, never saying ‘no’, not setting boundaries and end up in a terrible state. But of course, to take care of others, you first have to take care of yourself.
People often confuse self-care with self-love. Self-care is not selfish – but likely spending all day in front of the mirror chanting ‘I love myself’ is.
Self-care is balance. If you are a carer, you have to take care of yourself, otherwise you’ll end up too exhausted to help others. And if you become ill yourself, then you can’t take care of your patient.
Cabin crew are taught to tell parents to put on their own face mask, in a decompression, before helping their babies. This sounds selfish, but it’s not. Because if a parent goes unconscious, the baby can’t be helped.
Physical Self-Care
This means simply taking care of your body. Stress can often be due to life issues or anxiety, but you’ll feel even more rubbish if you eat junk food and drink alcohol (which will wake you up at night).
Instead of focusing on how to solve your problems, just create a daily route: good food, nature walks, gentle exercise, a warm bath, a rest before bed.
You’ll then feel better, and more able to cope, rather than ‘drink your problems away’, which come back the next morning!
Emotional Self-Care
Taking care of your feelings is very important. Many sensitive people don’t cope well with the stresses of modern life. And these days in a world of loud shouty and unkind people, it can be difficult to find others who care.
So again, find ways that work for you. A daily swim, a gentle exercise routine, even a regular counsellor. Or visit an evening Vespers at a church, it’s enchanting and relaxing.
Social Self-Care
Even if you prefer animals as friends, it’s still good to seek out a few like-minded human souls, whether that’s on a nature walk, at a church or painting class.
If you want quiet intelligent friends who will listen, you won’t find them at the local nightclub! If you have a drinking problem, don’t make the local loud boozer your venue of choice. Set boundaries with negative people, and choose your own company, if you can’t find good people in your surround.
Stay True to Your Values
People who practice self-compassion know their values, and don’t live lives by media. A good example of this was animal welfare campaigner Sarah Taylor.
She sadly died a few years ago from aggressive brain cancer. But she wrote wonderful simple books on how to go vegan in 30 days. Her take was that when you decide to make a life decision, do it from compassion.
She tried (and failed) several times to give up animal foods, due to conflicting information in the media (one week it’s fine, the next week it’s not). But when she went vegan due to compassion for animals, no amount of marketing could take her back. You can apply this philosophy to any area of life!
Self-Care Lessons from French People
In France, people don’t follow celebrity culture or buy lots of cheap beauty and fashion items. They eat well, drink lots of water, walk everywhere, enjoy a little wine (only with food) and spend more on a few quality items of clothing and beauty brands. There is a lot to learn from French men and women!
Eat Good Food (in balance)
In France, it is still the norm to savour food and drink. People buy good bread from the boulangerie, good cakes from the patisserie and drink good wine with their meals. They visit the market to buy fresh organic fruit for dessert, treating themselves to a good cake at the patisserie at weekends.
French people know portion control. They don’t eat giant American muffins, nor bags of chips. They eat proper meals (3 a day) with few snacks (petrol stations and newsagents in France sell fuel and newspapers, not chocolate bars and bags of crisps, as there is no market for them).
Drink Plain Water
French people do enjoy good wine (with their dinner). But they don’t binge-drink, and most of the time, they are drinking plain water. There is less of a market in France for fizzy drinks or energy drinks. Wine, water and coffee are the three main beverages of France.
For the average adult, experts recommend filling a reusable water bottle twice a day. If you get through that, you should be drinking enough water, as long as you’re not also drinking too much wine!
Walk Everywhere
Paris is one of the world’s most walkable cities, built on a grid with hardly any buildings more than four storeys high. So as a result, all people in the city walk to get to most places, which is why they are so slim.
French people don’t really ‘do exercise’, they instead make it part of their lives. They walk if they can, take the stairs over the lift, and combined with healthy food in smaller portions, naturally stay slim and active.
Authentic Simple Skincare
French people would never dream of buying lots of cheap ineffective ‘miracle cure’ skincare from a cheap drugstore. They visit the natural health store and invest in just one or two skincare products made with organic plant-based ingredients, then use them religiously, as part of a self-care routine.
A Stylish Capsule Wardrobe
Just like their skincare, French people mix-and-match a few quality items of ethically-made clothing that suits their shape and complexion. They don’t rush to buy ‘bargains’ in sales, just because they are cheap. They take care of their clothes and shoes, to last them years.
Value Social Connections
In France, people still engage in the art of conversation. It’s normal to enjoy coffee or a glass of wine over an hour of good talk, rather than staring into their phones or sitting at home playing computer games.
French people also still go for walks in their grand parks, and strike up pleasant conversation with passers-by, or perhaps the odd French poodle!
Read Good Books
French people are usually very educated and enjoy reading good books, whether that is a thrilling novel, or a non-fiction read on modern politics. They are not really fans of cheap and tacky reality shows, they prefer to sit at home and expand their mind with good reading.
Embrace Your Unique Features
All French people know that they are beautiful, even those that have not been blessed with perfect bone structure. We’ve all seen French women who carry themselves well, making the best of what nature gave them, and still looking more beautiful and elegant than most women elsewhere in the world.
Know what your best features are, and accentuate them. Then use French self-care secrets to make the best of the rest!
