Raising Low Self-Esteem (believe in yourself!)
Eco-friendly congratulations card!
Having good self-esteem is not the same as being a narcissist (thinking you are better than everyone else and putting others down, or using them to your advantage). But the problem with low self-esteem is actually related. Because you’re likely find yourself surrounded by those with higher self-esteem, who will then try to take advantage of your good nature, for their own ends.
It’s basically a case of standing your ground and living your values. Not about thinking you are prettier or brighter than those around you.
What are the signs of low self-esteem?
Not having enough confidence to do something is normal at times. But low self-esteem means that you basically don’t live the life you want, as you don’t believe in yourself or your abilities. One negative remark from someone else, and you go scurrying back into your den.
Healthy self-esteem basically means having a good opinion of ourselves, which tends to also relate to how we see the world around us. You don’t want to get into ‘victim mentality’, as that can dim your life, and also makes other people not very receptive to you either.
When you see the world as a place to battle against, you’ll feel less able to take on challenges around you. And let’s face it, in this world today we have lots more of them.
What causes people to have low self-esteem?
It’s not usually due to bad parenting. In fact, it can be due to being ‘raised right’. You then go out into the world to help, and find it’s people (with very high self-esteem) who seem to batter everyone down who is nicer than them.
We now have mass media that belittles people who are quiet and nice, and seems to celebrate those who are loud and nasty.
Childhood bullying can often have huge effects later on in life. If you were a sensitive child who were told you were not good enough (even by teachers, who should not be in the job if that’s how they talk) can leave mental scars as adults.
Some children feel they can’t live up the expectations of their parents. Think of all the adult children of top talented stars who have ended up alcoholics (some have shot themselves dead) It’s hard to have high self-esteem if you’re the child of a genius, and you don’t have much talent.
That’s why some top stars (understandably) choose not to leave their fortunes to their children. Wanting them to have a reason to go out and do good in the world, instead of partying all their money away.
Guilt is a massive reason for low self-esteem. We all mess up. But sometimes a tragedy may occur, and this results say in a death or someone else’s life being ruined. Then you feel like you can’t have any good view of yourself, as you feel so messed up yourself, for causing someone else’s life to dive.
In this case – make amends. Or if you can’t, then get professional counselling help to heal.
Tips to help raise your self-esteem
Often this starts with physical self-care. If you eat well, cut back on mood-swing risks like alcohol, take regular exercise, get fresh air and get good sleep, you will naturally feel and look better.
Hang around positive people. They don’t have to be ‘happy clappy’. But if you’re around gossips who steal your self-esteem, try to get yourself some nice friends in different social situations – a church, a painting class, a walking club. Anywhere that ‘nice people hang out!’
Do some volunteering. Doing good for others is a wonderful way to forget about yourself, and also raise your self-esteem at the same time.
Recognise what you’re good at
If you around people doing things that they do, then look at what you like to do and are good at, and do that instead! Doing things you are naturally good at, will naturally boost your mood.
For instance, if you work in an office but secretly prefer gardening, then take a landscape gardening course. In a couple of years, you can be doing your dream job. You’ll feel better, earn more and have better self-esteem.
Believe in yourself. You are braver than you think, more talented than you know, and capable of more than you imagine. Christopher Robin (Winnie the Pooh)
If you hear a voice within you say ‘you cannot paint’, then by all means paint. And that voice will be silenced. Vincent van Gogh
