How to Move On From Being Ghosted
Ghosting happens when someone suddenly stops all contact without explanation. It’s become more common as texting and social apps make it easier to disappear without facing a conversation. This kind of silence can leave you feeling confused, hurt, and stuck.
If you’ve been ghosted by someone who is abusive or a stalker, then just move, as you don’t have to be concerned at being in contact with that person ever again.
In the Bible, Lot’s wife (who is never named) looked back, and turned into a pillar of salt. Don’t let the same happen to you.
Authentic love means caring without trying to control. You deserve a relationship where you are seen, heard, understood and accepted for who you really are. Vex King
Love yourself enough to set boundaries. Your time and energy are precious. You get to choose how you use it. You teach people how to treat you, by deciding what you will and won’t accept. Anna Taylor
If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete. Jack Kornfield
Common Reasons People Ghost
People ghost for all sorts of reasons, many of which come down to avoiding discomfort or awkwardness. Here are some of the most typical causes:
- Fear of confrontation
Some people find direct conversations difficult or stressful. Instead of explaining their feelings or ending things honestly, they choose silence. It’s easier for them, even if it’s hurtful for you. - Loss of interest
When someone loses interest, they might decide it’s simpler to disappear rather than tell you they’re no longer invested. This avoids any potential arguments or uncomfortable talks. - Emotional unpreparedness
People who struggle with their own feelings or lack the maturity to handle relationship endings might ghost as a way to protect themselves. - Overwhelm or busy life
Sometimes, life feels overwhelming. Work, family, or personal challenges can make someone pull back suddenly from connections they can’t manage at the moment. - Avoidance of accountability
Ghosters often want to dodge responsibility for their actions. They don’t want to face your questions or deal with your reactions. - Using ghosting as a shortcut
For some, ghosting is the easiest, fastest way to end a connection. They don’t consider the impact because they focus on their own comfort.
What Ghosting Says About the Person Who Ghosts
Ghosting reveals a lot about how someone communicates and handles emotions. It points to several traits or habits:
- Lack of communication skills
If someone ghosts, it usually means they haven’t developed healthy ways to express their feelings. They avoid difficult conversations instead of dealing with them. - Low emotional maturity
Walking away without explanation shows an inability to handle emotional responsibility. This reflects on their level of emotional growth. - Self-centredness
Ghosting often puts the ghoster’s needs first, ignoring the other person’s feelings. This shows a lack of empathy or care. - Fear of intimacy or vulnerability
Some people pull away when a relationship starts to get real. Ghosting becomes a way to protect themselves from feeling hurt or exposing their true selves.
Understanding Without Excusing
Knowing why ghosting happens doesn’t mean it’s okay. It doesn’t excuse the hurt or confusion you felt when someone disappeared without a word. What it does is give you clarity. When you see ghosting as reflection of the other person’s struggles, fears, or flaws, it’s easier not to take it personally.
Ghosting says more about their issues than about your worth. It’s a sign they can’t or won’t communicate properly, not that you deserve less respect or kindness. Accepting this helps you process your feelings and begin the healing process with less blame or anger weighing you down.
Forgiving Without Losing Self-Respect
Forgiveness after being ghosted isn’t about saying what happened was alright or inviting the person back into your life. It’s a way to free yourself from holding onto anger or hurt that keeps you stuck. You don’t have to forget what happened or excuse their behaviour. Instead, forgiveness can be a personal decision to protect your peace.
Think of forgiveness like dropping a heavy backpack you’ve been carrying. It doesn’t erase the journey or what was in the bag, but it does lighten your step. It’s about you finding relief, not about letting the other person off the hook.
Today, I decided to forgive you. Not because you apologised. Or because you acknowledged the pain that you caused me. But because my soul deserves peace. Najwa Zebian
To forgive without losing your dignity, try to:
- Recognise that ghosting reflects their choices, not your value. Remind yourself that their silence says more about their ability to handle situations than anything about your worth.
- Set clear boundaries for yourself. Forgiveness doesn’t mean reopening doors or settling for less than respect. It means choosing not to waste your energy on resentment.
- Use forgiveness as a tool for healing, not reconciliation. You forgive so you can move on, not because you owe the ghoster anything.
- Avoid self-blame. Remember, you did not cause their disappearance. Forgiving yourself for any misplaced guilt is just as important as forgiving them.
- Focus on self-care and growth. Let forgiveness be part of your broader journey toward confidence and peace, not a quick fix.
What to Do if You Have Ghosted Someone
The first step is being honest with yourself. Why did you choose to stop responding?
- Were you avoiding a difficult conversation?
- Did you feel overwhelmed or unsure about what to say?
- Perhaps you lost interest but didn’t know how to express it?
Understanding your own feelings and motivations prevents the pattern from repeating. It’s okay to admit that communication was hard. Many people struggle with this part.
Recognise the Impact on the Other Person
Ghosting doesn’t just affect you; it leaves the other person hanging without closure. This can cause confusion, hurt, or even self-doubt. It’s important to remember that when you disappear, you take away their chance to understand what’s going on. Ignoring their feelings can feel like disrespect, even when that’s not your intention.
Thinking about how the other person might have felt helps build empathy which can make your future interactions more thoughtful.
Consider Reaching Out to Clear the Air
If you feel it’s appropriate, reaching out with a simple message can bring a sense of closure or explanation. You don’t need to write a long apology or justification. A brief and honest note often works best, like:
- “I’m sorry for disappearing; I should have communicated better.”
- “I realise ghosting was hurtful, and I want to be clearer in the future.”
This shows that you respect the other person and care about how your actions affected them.
Set Clearer Boundaries and Communicate Openly
Avoiding ghosting in the future means getting comfortable with honesty—not easy for everyone but worth the effort. Setting boundaries like “I need some time to think” or “I don’t feel ready to continue this” is far better than silence. Clear communication prevents misunderstandings and respects everyone involved.
Practise saying what you feel in small, manageable ways. You can build this skill step by step, and it will make your relationships healthier overall.
Make Amends by Changing Your Approach
Changing your habits around communication shows growth. Instead of vanishing, consider these actions when you feel tempted to ghost:
- Send a quick message if you need space, explaining you’ll check back later.
- Be upfront when your interest is fading rather than hoping they’ll guess it.
- Ask for time if things feel overwhelming, keeping the other person in the loop.
Treat Ghosting as a Chance to Grow
Nobody is perfect at handling every relationship moment. Ghosting is a sign that you might need to practise clearer communication or set better limits. Instead of feeling guilty or stuck, take it as a chance to grow into a person who communicates with respect and kindness—even when it’s hard.
Making this shift helps you build trust with others and yourself. It also stops you from causing the same hurt you once felt when ghosted.
If you need professional help, then find a counsellor to talk things through confidentially.
